Thursday, August 31, 2006

Wah. I stood in the ice for 3 days and now I can't feel my toes. Wah.

The Boss has turned into Harriet F. Houdini. I think we all know what the F stands for. Yesterday, for her first trick, she removed her poop-filled diaper without unsnapping a single closure on her long sleeved, long panted romper.

I went up to get her at the tail end of naptime, only to discover a happy, bleating 13 month old, sockless in the southeast corner of her crib amidst a trail of reddish brown viscosity. A diaper, one side agape and fecal, lay on the mattress.

I blinked. The Boss was strangely lumpless in a pink and white one-piece outfit with a big wet spot on the leg. The cotton drape of her romper was contoured to the rises and falls of her baby fat, unspoiled by the ugly absorbancy of her diaper. I lifted her up, expecting to see that she had unsnapped the legs of her outfit to make a skirt through which to remove the diaper. Yet, all snaps were secure. I turned her around to look at the closures on the back of her neck, wondering if she somehow pulled the diaper out the head hole. But that exit was not compromised, either. I puzzled on it all the way to the bathroom. Then I threw her in the tub.

The only thing I can surmise is that dextrous ingenuity led her to wiggle halfway out of the diaper before using her hands to squeeze it the rest of the way down her pant leg and out the elastic cuff. My Baby Blaine. My Copperfield Kid.

I'm so proud, I could vomit.

5 comments:

MetroDad said...

Hahaha...that's pretty impressive. Unfortunately, our kid is less subtle. She just takes off her pants, undoes her diaper, and tosses it outside her crib. She's like a mini-nudist.

Whirlwind said...

LMAO (sorry. but I can sympathize)! Moe must have taught her the removing the diaper and flining it trick. I swear, I am going to start using duc-tape to keep Moe's diaper on. Moe has graduate to the remove clothing, remove diaper, get dressed again phase.

Michele said...

Aaarrrggh!

We have only had one poop incident. I had put one boy in a too-small diaper because I was too tired to run downstairs for a bigger one after baths one night. Sometime during the night it came off. The next morning it was quite dramatic and aromatic. Luckily he was as grossed out as I was (yuk! Yuk! Uh oh!)and we havent had any repeats. Yet.

jenifer said...

Pretty impressive! I must say at 2 years old my daughter has yet to take off a poopy diaper, praise the lord!! Of course there's a first time for everything!

toyfoto said...

I know this is going to sound horrible, but I am SOOOO jealous. I mean, my kid won't even pull her diaper down to use the potty. She can barely figure out where her socks go. And she's almost three. A new toddler getting it off AND doing it MAGICALLY? You could sell tickets and get her college tuition paid for. Of course, you probably can use that money to buy yourself a new house. Your Boss will be getting a free ride.