Friday, October 13, 2006

10th High School Class Disunion

It is time for my ten year high school reunion. Apparently, nobody cares.

I called my upper-secondary alma mater to find out how best to determine if any plans for our tenth reunion were in the works. The ever-helpful guidance secretary imparted these words of wisdom:

"Call your class president."

Ah-ha. I nodded thoughtfully into the phone. "I see. Who the hell was my class president?"

"I don't know."

"And, even if I was able to remember the identity of this mystery president, how would I contact him or her?"

"I don't know."

"Um hmm, um hmmm." I rubbed my chin in thought. The phone line went static-y. "So the school is not able to offer any resources whatsoever in this regard?"


But it all makes sense, really. The Guidance Department never did a thing to help guide me out of school; I have no idea why I thought they'd be of any assistance whatsoever in drawing me back. I was on my own.

The high school Web site, which I accessed through no help of the useless Guidance Lady, actually did have a class reunion page. It came as no suprise that every class except mine was listed.

I tried, but an unexpected error occured, repeatedly.

Then I gave up, and it occured to me that it was for the best. To tread too deeply into the waters of a poorly planned (or non-existent) class reunion is asking for trouble. There are sharks there that can smell blood. So, you've come to find out about a reunion ...

Next thing I know, I'll be up to my ears in catering menus and an itemized list of top shelf liquors, not to mention a tidal wave of save-the-date postcards marked "return to sender."

No, thank you. Besides, I've got Google. A few hours of specific keyword searches and I'll know more than I ever wanted to know about a yearbook full of people I didn't hang out with then and don't particulary care to now. Then I'll take the $100 I would've spent on a reunion ticket, putting it instead toward a night out with the few high school classmates I am still lucky to call friends.

And the only thing I will miss is the open bar.


Mary-LUE said...

Ah yes. The high school reunion. I did make it to my tenth although it took every ounce of courage I had. My first born was just 5ish weeks old and I was still carrying a lot of weight. A LOT. I had gained 60 pounds in the pregnancy. Blech!

I did have fun in the long run although it did seem like everyone was still the same. Popular girls. Check. Partiers. Check. Jocks. Check.

I skipped out on my 20th but am hoping there will be a 25th.

Try if you want to see about reunions. They usually have something up.

toyfoto said...

I have avoided all reunions like the plague. Really. The people involved in planning always were the people involved in all the planning of all the most rediculous crap in school. Then they'd exclude everyone. That's how I view a $100 ticket social gathering. Exlusionary.

mothergoosemouse said...

Kyle's 10th was boring, but my 15th was pretty good. I posted about it last summer. Some things never change, but other things were better than I expected, and still other things were fairly entertaining to observe. You never know.

Mrs. Chicky said...

I skipped my 10 year reunion. Bad timing with my life in upheaval and all. I heard it was uncomfortable and not enough people were fat. I'm holding out for the 20th.

jen said...

ah...excellent choice. it's a bizarre regression ritual that no one really needs to endure.

re: your comment - sister, that made me laugh out loud. they just haven't found you yet...

Mom101 said...

Ha, I'm in the same boat for our (gasp, wheeze) 20th. But fortunately, since most of us still live in the NY area, a few folks took it upon themselves to say "spread the word" and we're having an informal get together at a bar in our hometown outside the city, Thanksgiving weekend. Except...

can't drink. Dammit.

T. said...

I missed my own tenth reunion. Was in the hospital with the youngest. But the way I figure it, I was rather a nobody back then, I probably still would have been to those people. However, when we went to my hubs 10th, it was a blast.

It was a gas to see how people have spread, thinned or just grew over the past ten years.


I ran into someone randonly at a bar in NYC two years after we graduated HS. She grabbed me and said "I can't believe our ten year reunion is in eight years!!" I kid you not and SHE WAS NOT drunk. I guess I'll go to mine, but only if I have something cool to brag about... I guess there's always the whole "I invented post-its" thing, right?

Jenifer said...

I just received my 10th high school reunion invite in the mail last week. I was somewhat disappointed though. It's being held at a bar (not an open one either), no meal is being served just snacks, and we still have to pay $10 a head to attend. I have no idea how many people will show up but I will be there with bells on.... if for nothing more than morbid curiosity.

Now I just have to figure out where it is......since she sent the name of the place with no directions on the invite........