How Things Work Around Here

The day The Partner left for his business trip, I was overwhelmed by the urge to paint the living room. This was momentous on many levels, not the least of which is the lazy level, where I subsist on a daily basis. What was more amazing was that I went to local paint store, procured the necessary supplies, and came home to begin stripping the wallpaper from our living room. By that evening--the first of his three away--I had almost all the paper removed. I surveyed the scene with contentment and thought I just might be able to finish the project before his return.

Perhaps my subconscious wanted to prove that I could do it myself. I have come to rely on The Partner for everything, not out of necessity, but sloth. Though this generally bothers him more than it does me, I guess his constant allusions to my incompetence and lack of motivation began to lay a little too thick on my psyche. At the end of my first day's work, I was pleased with my progress and the prospect of this first successful Do It Myself experience.

What should not come as a surprise is that I got sick the next day. That's how Fate flies around here. I could barely feed The Boss breakfast, let alone get all tippy-toed on a chair while sanding off wallpaper glue. Instead I laid on the couch, which was squished in the center of the room alongside The Boss's playpen, a coffee table, two bookcases, a standing globe and a dog bed. Drop cloths sat forlorn all around me.

The following afternoon I was able to tear down the last sheet of wallpaper, but sanding and priming would have to wait till the next day. That day is now, and The Partner is home. I was disappointed not to have a finished project with which to shock him into submission, but the fact remains that my laziness is so extreme that even stripping one room's worth of wallpaper by myself in a three day period is enough to render him at least temporarily speechless.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again. Baby steps, people. Baby steps.