Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Blueberry Surprise

My family does not know about my blog. The secret was not threatened until TrueBlue came along.

A case of the blueberry juice arrived at my door after I was approached about the possibility of reviewing it on my blog. As a sucker when it comes to free stuff, and with a daughter who's a sucker of juice, I was more than amenable to the idea. Tearing into the case upon its arrival, I stored one bottle in the refrigerator (per the kind gentleman's suggestion to let it chill before drinking) and left the rest of the case in a corner of the kitchen.

Over the next few days, members of my household became well acquainted with the virtues of blueberries in liquid form. The Partner drank it undiluted. The Boss got a half and half mix of blueberry juice and water. When she went to bed, I drank mine with vodka. TrueBlue was a hit.

Then Easter came, and along with it, extended family. The case of TrueBlue remained in its corner, a little more than half full. That's when I made the mistake of opening a new bottle to fill a glass for my mother.

"This is the best juice I ever had!" Yes, that is what she said. No exaggeration whatsoever. It pains me to say it, because...

"Where did you get this?" came next. Keep in mind, she does not know about my blog. She cannot know about my blog.

"Um..." I looked around with a frenzied and twitching face for The Partner. I needed backup. But he was in the other room, tending to a fireplace that was spewing ash all over the room and causing random bursts of the fire alarm. "Umm..." I stuttered, again. "The Internet?"

"Oh, it came from the Internet? A whole case? Was it a good deal?"

"Yeah, it was a great deal!" I sighed with relief. That was totally believable, right? I mean, why wouldn't I buy juice in bulk off the 'Net? Me, who has never had so much as a Costco membership.

"How much was it?"

"I can't remember."

"Where'd you find the deal?"

"Hmm. Can't remember. I guess it just came across in an email or something."

"Oh. I get a lot of those emails and I've never seen this juice before."

I hoped my face wasn't getting red. Why was she grilling me?

"Well, I'll just go in with you on a case next time you order," she chirped. "I don't even usually like juice, but this stuff is fantastic."

Dammit. I listened to the fire alarm go off again and silently cursed The Partner's absence. He'd have been much more mentally quick than I. "It was a one time deal," I hedged. "But, uh, I think you can get a dollar off coupon on their Web site."

She looked at me with slightly raised eyebrows and shrugged, unimpressed. Then she walked out of the kitchen, the ice in her blue glass clinking as she went.

I sent her home with her own bottle of TrueBlue later that night. As she and the rest of my family drove off in the mini van, I prayed that she wouldn't someday take it upon herself to Google "TrueBlue" in search of an "Internet special" and stumble upon this very review.


slouching mom said...

This may be the most cleverly written review I have ever read. Well done, binky!

Perfect. If it weren't a review, I might have to award it one of those perfect post things. Only if I were to do that, someone might think I was being paid by the TrueBlue people.

Hey, that gives me a great idea...

jen said...

um, yeah.

try explaining what was going on when two nice young men dropped off a Saturn at my house while my parents were here. awesome.

oh wait, now i am thirsty.

redneck Mommy said...


Not your response to your mama's interrogation, but your review.

But I'm still not trading in my cranberry juice for blueberry.

sarah said...

I think I've seen stuff like this at Ocean State Job lot. I'm not sure if it is the same brand, but you should tell her to look there!

Mrs. Chicken said...

The juice isn't bad; but of course The Poo hates it. Grrrr.

This is such a clever review, how can I top it? :)

My mom doesn't know about CAC; if she did, oy vey to the max.

Amy said...

I am going to try it!

Lawyer Mama said...

This *is* a clever review! Makes me want to try this magnificent blue stuff.

Lisa said...

ooo, now I'm thirsty. I agree, very clever.

I still won't write about my mom on my blog as I am convinced that she'll find it someday. That would not be good.