Everything You Wanted to Know About Our Move But Didn't Quite Care Enough to Ask

10. We moved in on a Thursday and, on Friday, The Partner hopped a party bus to Montreal for a bachelor party weekend, leaving me to unpack the lonely house.

9. My mom and sister came over on Saturday and helped me unload an entire kitchen's worth of boxes, so I'm not as much of a martyr as I make myself sound.

8. There are Tiger Lilies everywhere. I didn't even know what the orange flower was before moving to this region of Connecticut. Now I see them on every residential, commercial and industrial site in a tri-town area. I thought it would be appropriate if, in the name of Internet anonymity, I refer to my new village as "Tiger Lily" in this blog.

7. After it rains, we find roughly 30-40 dead frogs in our pool filters. No exaggeration.

6. The Boss has been staying with her grandparents while we move. Her grandmother is teaching her French. It's like this: "Bonjour!" Then The Boss puts her own kiddie pop-culture PBS spin on it. "Bonjour, Caillou!" she says. Sometimes I am forced to admit she's a little too fond of the boob tube.


BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!


We interrupt this blog post for an important message, brought to you by the Parent Bloggers Network and Kaboom NeverScrub! Continuous Toilet Cleaning System. Binky has not had to scrub her toilet in three months. We repeat, she has not had to bend over the porcelain chamber maid to scrub in THREE MONTHS. For more than ninety days, the bowl has looked uniformly clean and shiny. The in-tank device (it's refillable!) sits in its concealed state and is recognizable only by the chemical smell of each flush. When mixed with, say, asparagus pee, it is not pleasant. But mild discomfort in the olfactory zone is a small price to pay for never having to scrub one's toilet.

Now back to your regularly scheduled blog reading.

BEEP!


5. I purchased two more boxes of my new favorite product, the aforementioned Kaboom NeverScrub! Continuous Toilet Cleaning System, to use in our Tiger Lily abode only to find that the system didn't fit into either of our toilets. My husband was going to rig up a new hose set-up because he's handy like that, but I heard there's a new and improved version out there. Somewhere. I'm a little miffed that I paid full price (twice) for something that's already obsolete.

4. This house is a labyrinth of electrical switches. The Partner spent two hours on Monday night running all over the property trying to figure out which switch connects to which light fixture or appliance.

3. I am somewhat afraid of garage doors that open automatically.

2. The Partner and I christened our pool naked.

1. The dog jumped onto my hibernating laptop during the car ride on my way from the old house to the new one, and now my hard drive is no more. The Partner says he can retrieve all my backed up data from the server on which he runs all our household computers. I do not even want to entertain the idea of that plan not working out.