Thursday, August 28, 2008

Please Pass the Breast Milk

We are sitting at the dinner table as The Boss forks pork chop and peas into her mouth with agonizing slowness. She talks more than she eats, a fact that stretches out dinnertime by a good hour on a nightly basis. She chews, she swallows, and she licks the residue from the corners of her mouth. Then she speaks.

"Why don't men have milk in their boobs?"

The Partner and I grin at each other from where we sit before The Boss. I remain mute long enough to indicate that he's going to have to take this one.

"Because men aren't designed to have babies and feed them. But women are."

The Boss nods her understanding. The up-and-down shake of her head is deliberate. Her mind processes information the same way her back teeth grind down pork to a swallowable squish--with the utmost thoroughness. But she's still only three years old. There are some concepts that elude her. She doesn't know about time, for instance: how fast it goes, and that it stops for no one.

"When I grow older and my boobs get bigger," she says, "I can feed my brother."

6 comments:

Heather said...

Oh man that's priceless. I'm so glad you have that "written down" now.

Anonymous said...

That is a true gem....let's see what her husband thinks of that idea, lol!

Sarahviz said...

Until about a year ago (he's 6 now), my Eldest called referred to my boobs as "breast milk".

As in: "Mom, when you don't wear that cover up thing (my BRA), I can see your breast milk."

And yeah, I had been done breastfeeding for oh, 3 YEARS.

Anonymous said...

That is precious! Too funny! Can't wait until my girl starts talking so we can have those types of conversations!

Amanda said...

Oh I love that!

Ruth Dynamite said...

This is the kind of priceless quote you can remind her of for years to come. Hilarious!