Saturday, February 06, 2010

On Marriage

Life is predominantly bullshit. If I had to put a figure to it, I’d estimate 95% of everyday living is flotsam we fabricate to keep things interesting. Five percent is truth. That’s where love is, and hate. You have to look in the five to find out if the rest is worth it.

Someone told me a marriage is salvageable if there’s love. Period. “Do you love him?” Yes or no. There’s no choice C, no #3. Don’t examine the bullshit; it colors things in sepia. The answer is in the 5%. “Do you love him?”

If you say yes, that’s all that matters. Not money, not sex, not a clean house or a job that sucks. All those things are effects. The cause is separate. “Do you love him?”

If you say no, that too is an encompassing truth. Ninety-five percent can drive you crazy, but it doesn’t have to. Love isn’t always the answer. “Do you love him?”

I do.


Fairly Odd Mother said...

Yes, sometimes things do come down to an equation as simple as that. But, I do hope the 95% of things get better for you .

Boz said...

Marriage is hard, and love makes it harder, not easier.

Life As I Know It said...

Marriage takes effort, but we don't always know that when we enter into it.

I like this post - truthful and succinct and right on.

I love mine, too.

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Jene said...

i don't know that i agree. what you wrote could be a marketing ad for an abusive relationship! the love has to go both ways - and the commitment, understanding and compromise has to be there on both ends. but then again, i've chosen not to be married becasue I haven't found all of those things yet, so who knows. :-)

orlaith55 said...

I'm going to have to disagree. I know of a few relationships that had a lot of love, but were unable to stay together for other reasons. I'm almost more apt to think love is the gravy in the relationship.

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tilden talks... said...

i agree with boz...maybe there is something to be said for arranged marriages.

toyfoto said...

Anytime someone tells about love in sweeping terms I want to tell them to shit in their hats and pull it down over their ears. Love doesn't even keep children from becoming holy terrors. Sometimes it just drives them to it.

I think of love as akin to the diagnosis of back pain, the experts don't always know what causes it or how to fix it. They might suggest drastic things that don't always work, or they might tell us it's all in our head.

A 5 percent theory seems perfectly rational to me.