Tuesday, August 01, 2006

The 5 Second Rule

After yesterday's heavy post, I thought this would be a good time to discuss something that won't kill you--or probably won't, anyway. I'm talking about adherence to the Five Second Rule.

A study conducted by an intern at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign (did you hear that, Amy?) came up with a host of results that I am going to summarize thusly:

1) If the food is dry and the floor is dry, 5 seconds probably won't hurt you

2) If it's wet and hairy, don't eat it

3) Women are more likely than men to eat off the floor

Before The Boss came into my life with her laissez-faire approach to eating off surfaces upon which others like to walk, the idea of putting into my own mouth something that had only seconds ago kissed the floor was repugnant. To hear the invocation of the Five Second rule was to gag.

It turns out that this is only one of many, many things on which I've been forced to do a complete 180 since becoming a mother. Now that my daughter is one year old, I am not above sitting down with her for a veritable feast on the hardwoods. I scarf down humble pie on the sidewalk. And I do it with nary a shrug in the direction of the sanitized life I left behind.

It's just another one of those things in a day's work.


toyfoto said...

Oh, there should be another one. ...
Depending on whether the bit of chocolate yummy-ness, which is now covered in dog hair and sand, was the LAST one in the box? If so WASH IT OFF and eat.

lynsalyns said...

I'm glad to see my state tax dollars will be working hard out there in Champaign.

Oy vey.

I washed off a banana yesterday. A banana that fell in dog hair.

I don't have a dog.

Where did the hair come from??

ECR said...

It is my sad duty to inform both of you that washing off the chocolate or the banana is a futile measure, according to this study. But, there's something to be said for ceremony, right?

Jenifer said...

It's not so bad straight from the floor.... It's when it comes from the floor, enters your daughter's mouth, then comes out again because she wants to feed it to you. And of course you must pretend it is the most scrumptious delectable delicacy you have ever had the pleasure of ingesting.

Been there, done that. 3 month old M&M's from under the couch are my favorite!

Mrs. Chicky said...

Um, what if it's dry and hairy? With four pets anything that falls on the floor, if only for a split second, is instantly covered with hair. I'm sold on the rule of "if the food is dry, the five second rule applies". If it's a wet food item, it goes in one of the dog's mouths. They don't care if they eat their own hair.

lildb said...

not only is anything sanitary left to the by-gone days of pre-parenting; there is also something I like to refer to as "sophistication."

pre-parent: Winnie the Pooh? on a sun shade? in my car window? would not be caught *dead*, thank you.

now: a handy, reliable sun shade? one that does a far better job than the innocuous "Safety First" sun shade? oh. hey -- it has Winnie the Pooh on it. whatever. *shrug*

Karen said...

I am a nurse and eat a lot of the floor when I probably shouldn't- but as a nurse my 'disgust' standards have lowered considerably...
I burst out laughing at "If it's wet and hairy don't eat it!"
With four cats between my roommate and I amlost anything that falls on the floor comes up hairy!