Spirits

The Partner and I have a spirited marriage. While other parents talk about their spirited children--and all the inherent extremes of energy, sensitivity, insightfulness, intelligence and discipline issues--I find those characteristics more prevalent in our own wed-locked union than in our daughter.

For us, being married is the most difficult aspect of being parents. But that doesn't mean I'm any more prone to giving up on our husband-and-wife status than another mother would be to giving up on her precocious toddler. Nobody said it would be easy. The fact that nobody told me it would be this hard is irrelevant.

We fight all the time. We alternately scream and ignore. We forgive on incompatible timelines. He tries to hold my hand when I have yet to unclench the fist at my side. He puts on a good face in public. I, on the other hand, will put nothing or nobody on--when I am done, not a single person is left unaware of the true state of affairs.

The nature of this "spirit" is such that the depth of its negativity is countered on the high-flying upswing. I find The Partner hysterically funny. He is never disappointed by the kind of shocking anecdotes that come out of my mouth. He is the left brain to my right. He is my biggest supporter.

It's only been two years. Maybe our extremes will slowly shift toward the center. On the other hand, maybe they'll continue to skew the spectrum. The only thing I'm sure about is that today's chaos leaves us with little time or energy to ponder realities that aren't here and now.

But it all begs the question: What becomes of spirited children when they grow up?


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