It sometimes occurs to me how inane by blog is. The thought crossed my mind today, actually, after I left comments on a couple military blogs upon which I stumbled. The soldiers behind those Blogger templates live out tales of heart and guts every day. They share their perspective in a way that's invaluable in the telling. Each post is layers deep.
I came back here after leaving those comments and assessed my last few posts with a more distanced eye. I forced myself to look past my mommyblogging myopia. I tried to find something universal, or at least something that would be even halfway interesting to a person not in possession of two stretch-marked breasts and a blown-out vaginal canal. But I couldn't come up with anyting.
I realize certain people attract a certain audience and that no single entity (with the possible exception of Anna Nicole Smith) is going to interest everybody. But when I start looking at my blog as other, more removed, parties must see it, well, then I start to wonder why even I am still interested.
I'm a mom. A mom who likes to write. A mom who likes to write and hates to clean. A mom who likes to write and hates to clean and wonders what it might be like to have done things differently, or to start doing them differently now.
And I guess that's what it's all about--finding inspiration to do things differently, to make that difference. Because it is important to me to be more than a mother, more than a writer, more than a bad housekeeper. More than someone who wonders when she should wander.
In Afghanistan and Iraq and points all over the globe, there are women and men in the United States military who are larger than life in their dauntless determination and in their sacrifice. Reading the blogs of soldiers in the different armed forces reminds me of that.
And once I get past the idea that they are doing huge things and I'm not, I am more inspired than ever to live more fully, and to a more pronounced effect, the life that the American military has secured for me.