Monday, March 05, 2007

Caligula Contemporary

I fell in love today. I am aflutter with waterfront wonder.

The Partner came out at lunchtime to join my mother, myself and The Boss for a showing of a house that had looked appealing in its online listings. It was every bit as unique and remarkable in real life, I'm happy to report, albeit a bit more...spackled. And somewhat moldier. And shifty.

But don't let my realistic portrayal of this home's flaws give you the wrong impression. I'm seriously in love. Attracted as I am to grandiose imperfections, this place is nirvana. I feel like I did the day I first met The Partner in real life after having made his acquaintance via a random, fateful search of AOL user profiles.

For those wondering about the style of the home, I will tell you that I have coined it Caligula Contemporary. Built in the year of my birth, it's an homage to an expansive, party-loving lifestyle. There's a dock leading into a small pond where the owners of adjacent properties shine spotlights while neighbors ice skate (now) or swim (summer, glorious summer). There's a bar on the dock. There's a bar on the first floor of the house. There's a bar in the basement. There's a lot of pink tile and gusseted vinyl. There are huge windows and sliding glass doors opening to a three story deck overlooking the pond. There are rooms of unique shape and layout. I could go on and on, but I am a paranoid, jealous lover, and I do not want any competition.

We* are going to put in a lowball offer on account of the fact that it needs roughly $100k worth of renovations, and that's if nothing really major is wrong. We'll make the offer contingent upon a two week investigation of the property, which will involve an in-depth home inspection and consultation with a contractor.

I don't know if they'll take a low-ball offer. I don't know how lucky we'll be if they do. But I do know that while we were driving home after the showing, I drifted deeply into thought. I didn't notice our buyer's agent look over at me, but I heard the smile in her voice. "What are you thinking about?" she asked.

I gave her a sideways, sheepish look. I was busted. So I admitted it with a sigh.

"I was designing the party invitations in my head."

*I mean, after "we" discuss it this evening.


Redneck Mommy said...

How exciting for you!!

I hope it works out. You make me want to up and sell my home.

My hubs thinks I need my head examined. I just need you to stop writing so damn descriptively.

Mrs. Chicken said...

yahooo! Our first house was in dire need of work,but I loved it so.

I hope you get your heart's desire.

jen said...

your very own pond? i love it.

it's so going to work out, i can feel it.

Andrea said...

Oh so exciting! See? Timing seems to know when you need it to work out. Offer on your house, finding your own new house to love...

I hope they accept your offer. Good luck!

lildb said...

that house sounds *phenomenal*.

can I move in, too? I wanna party like it's 1979.