We need a date, The Partner and I. I realized last night, during our own little make-shift rendezvous with a bottle of wine and a therapy session courtesy of eHarmony's new marriage rehab program, that talking through our lack of communication is what's most needed. It wasn't the relationship exercises, like "Dreaming a Great Dream for Your Marrriage," or how to be a "Considerate Mate," that offered the clearest insights; it was the simple act of sitting down and watching the words come out of each other's mouths, undiluted.
We need a date because even though that kind of attention to each other's thoughts and feelings shouldn't be occasional, it is now. It will be that way for awhile, until we get back to the place where attuning to each other is natural. We haven't looked out over that particular vista in three years. The demands of work, homeownership and parenthood have sullied our outlook.
Last night we talked about an important date in July--our third anniversary. The Partner said he would take the day off from work. Then we talked about going on a vacation in August (because we're INSANE like that). It was nice to plan things just for us. It was nice to sit there, just us.
The loveable and eHarmonic Dr. Neil Clark Warren says that a couple needs to dream big. I'm sure that's true, but I'm also a believer in building up to big. Right now I'm setting my sights on little dreams that we can connect into something larger, something whole.
And I'm hoping that a little more conversation can lead to a lot more action. But that's an eHarmony exercise for another day.
Write a post about why you need a date, and you might just win one. Act now! The Parent Bloggers Network has teamed up with E-Harmony to raffle off a $100 AmEx gift certificate (for the date) and $100 in cash (for the babysitter) to a random winner culled from all the participants in their June 1 Blog Blast.