Thursday, June 07, 2007

Greener Pastures

We are moving through with moving, despite our discovery of a large lot adjacent to ours that is zoned industrial. The Partner spoke with a manager at the town office and discovered the wooded property procured its status long ago--so long ago that the manager does not know when, or why--but there's been no action on it. We've decided to take the gamble--laying down our chips and shoving them under the rug, hoping nobody else decides to play.

Packing is in full swing and my attention is both everywhere and nowhere. I had a dream last night that I was in love with someone who preferred to be with someone else. Clinging to that dreamboy despite the betrayal evoked emotions I haven't felt in a long time. I woke up with a shocking sense of gratitude for The Partner's presence. In the day to day reality of living, I've forgotten to be thankful for the thrill of having somebody to live with--someone who loves me more than I give him, and myself, credit for.

In getting ready to start again in a new home, it might not be a bad time for me to put more effort into the marriage that will sustain it. It's easier said than done, I know. But something has to happen before the aloneness of my dreams becomes a reality I did nothing to prevent.


Mrs. Chicken said...

I hope this can be a new beginning for you both.

Deciding to move out here was very, very hard on our marriage - yet, once we were here, it felt fresh and new.

Your heart is telling you the truth.

jen said...

Amen. I've had similar revelations myself lately, too. And you know what, it's part of the cycle, friend. it's not all gumdrops and rainbows all the time.

oh, and hey - maybe that industrial will end up being something super cool, you know, like a drop in nanny service with a day spa and coffee house attached, one of those places that provide all their services for free to their neighbors.

slouching mom said...

How 'bout your personal Starbucks?


I'm glad you're going ahead with it, and let's just say I know whereof you speak with regard to marriage.

Lawyer Mama said...

Gosh, I've had those same thoughts myself more than once.

Mrs. Chicky said...

What Lawyer Mama said. Often. A move can really muck up the works, if you know what I mean.

Michele said...

What is that old cliche about 90% of success is showing up?

I am trying to take that approach in my marriage. I have to be an active catalyst for good change, not just the bitchy complainer that I can be.

Its not easy. I wish us both luck and success.

Mom101 said...

Wow I have missed a lot here in the past weeks. I wish you so much luck in the new situation.

And ouch about those dreams and the reality of the emotions, even if the incidents that provoked them were in your head.