We are moving through with moving, despite our discovery of a large lot adjacent to ours that is zoned industrial. The Partner spoke with a manager at the town office and discovered the wooded property procured its status long ago--so long ago that the manager does not know when, or why--but there's been no action on it. We've decided to take the gamble--laying down our chips and shoving them under the rug, hoping nobody else decides to play.
Packing is in full swing and my attention is both everywhere and nowhere. I had a dream last night that I was in love with someone who preferred to be with someone else. Clinging to that dreamboy despite the betrayal evoked emotions I haven't felt in a long time. I woke up with a shocking sense of gratitude for The Partner's presence. In the day to day reality of living, I've forgotten to be thankful for the thrill of having somebody to live with--someone who loves me more than I give him, and myself, credit for.
In getting ready to start again in a new home, it might not be a bad time for me to put more effort into the marriage that will sustain it. It's easier said than done, I know. But something has to happen before the aloneness of my dreams becomes a reality I did nothing to prevent.