Wednesday, November 07, 2007

Pardon My French, But. . .

. . .Why am I so God damned horny during pregnancy and what the hell is the point?

As far as I can see, there is no purpose served by my constant state of arousal. I'm already pregnant. The species is being actively perpetuated. Evolutionarily speaking, I could be sitting around in a chastity belt and a unitard and it wouldn't make one bit of difference.

The Partner certainly doesn't appreciate this heightened sex drive. Believe it or not, he thought it was too high to begin with. Now our incompatible libidos are further separated by my protruding belly.

I can't even get any in my dreams. As vivid and visceral as these hormonally induced fantasies are, they're still only soft core. It's like this: I'm getting HBO when what I really want is Pay-Per-View.

I think I need a technician to come out and fix my cable box.


___

13 comments:

Amy said...

Not only do you eat for two, but you have to kiss for two too.

Boz said...

Sometimes I really, really hate your husband. As much as I "love" him, at this moment I really hate him.

A lot.

Boz

Binkytown said...

Were you like this last time? I was like that when I was pregnant and I was told it was all of the testerone that came with having a boy.. Perhaps? Either way, send some my way- my libido is in the basement. In a closet. In the back. Under some stuff. Not wanting to come out..

slouching mom said...

My goodness, but you are...HONEST in this post, LOL!

You're right that evolutionarily speaking, that makes no sense at all.

But it did make me laugh.

Heather said...

Tee hee!

jen said...

you go, girl.

Lauren said...

haha. I was thinking on my drive home from work tonight about writing Chris a note and telling him to control his horny wife. I'm half glad you admitted your horn before I did.

Lauren said...

Ps. I'm horny all the time.

Boz said...

So I slept on it - my resentment, that is - and have come to the conclusion that I still hate your husband.

Talk about taking something for granted. :sigh:

Wendy said...

That last line was so dirty.

Kelly said...

I wasn't so much with boy #1, but with boy #2 I was all OVER my hubby. He did his best, but still couldn't keep up with me. I ended up, every day, "relaxing" during #1's afternoon nap. I'd still be rarin' to go that night, but it takes the edge off.

Girl, I appreciate your situation.

workathomeshop said...

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Major Bedhead said...

You need to find a B.O.B. (Battery Operated Boyfriend). I loved my B.O.B. when I was pregnant. And for whatever it's worth, I was pregnant with girls.